<\/p>\n
SEXUAL COND EXCL<\/b><\/p>\n
Sexual curiosities crop up in the most mundane places, at least for those of us with sensitive noses for such things.\u00a0 The other day I received the insurance policy on my house, and there at the end of a long list of coverages, special provisions, notices and exemptions was something called “SEXUAL COND EXCL.”\u00a0 What\u2019s this?\u00a0 I wondered, antennas twitching.<\/p>\n
Flipping through the policy to the very last page, I find provision #12621:\u00a0 the Sexual Conduct Exclusion.\u00a0 It seems that with regard to potential liability claims against me, my insurance does not cover claims related to any “bodily injury, property damage or personal injury arising out of any sexual activity or conduct, whether intentional or unintentional, by any insured.\u00a0 This exclusion applies even though the activity is not in violation of any criminal or penal code or statute.”<\/p>\n
Now am I being oversensitive here, or is this one more example of sex being singled out as some kind of different-from-all-other-things-in-life bugaboo?\u00a0 Can it be that my insurance company is seriously worried about such an arcane possibility?\u00a0 Out of all the possible liability suits related to owning a home, why single out this one for exclusion?<\/p>\n
I call my insurance agent, a friendly, helpful, and generally relaxed person, to ask what gives.\u00a0 She explains to me in detail what the exclusion says.\u00a0 If someone sues me for sexual harassment, for rape, or because they caught a sexually transmitted disease from me, I won\u2019t be covered.\u00a0 This I already understood.\u00a0 I assure her that I don\u2019t have any problem with the exclusion (I don\u2019t want her to think I\u2019m running a massage parlor or something), but I\u2019m curious about it.\u00a0 I\u2019m being playful; I get the feeling she thinks I\u2019m wasting her time.\u00a0 If she has any sense of humor about the absurdity of this little paragraph of paranoia, she doesn\u2019t show it to me.<\/p>\n
She hypothesizes dryly that the insurance company must have gotten burned on a sexual harassment suit, or something involving an STD.\u00a0 “That\u2019s usually what happens,” she says.\u00a0 “They lose a case and decide to tack on a blanket exclusion.”\u00a0 Maybe it\u2019s a rider they only use for policies in California.<\/p>\n
I call the Amco Insurance Company in Des Moines, Iowa, to see how they will handle my curiosity.\u00a0 “How can I direct your call?” the operator asks blankly.\u00a0 Fair enough question, though something of a stumper.\u00a0 “I have a question about one of the provisions on my homeowners policy,” I open.<\/p>\n
After one or two wrong turns, I get transferred to a man named Ross in the Customer Service Department.\u00a0 He goes over the wording with me, like a policeman reading me my rights.\u00a0 No sense of irony; no sense of humor.\u00a0 Human being face to face with the maze of rules and regulations.\u00a0 Slight taste of Kafka.\u00a0 Hello, Ross buddy, talk to me here.\u00a0 Property damage arising out of sexual activity?\u00a0 Get real with me.\u00a0 Or is s\/m a whole lot more popular than even I have been thinking?<\/p>\n
I make my voice as informal, as unthreatening, as I can.\u00a0 “I\u2019m just trying to understand why an insurance company would choose these particular behaviors to exclude from a general liability policy.\u00a0 It\u2019s hard for me to believe that there are hundreds of people being sued for sex related injuries.”<\/p>\n
Ross has done his duty and wants to get on to whatever else is littering his desk.\u00a0 If it\u2019s all right with me, he\u2019d like to check with the people in underwriting and have one of them get back to me.\u00a0 I assure him that will be fine.<\/p>\n
A half hour later I get a call from a Tom Gobrantz.\u00a0 He is polite, better at dealing with strange callers with their quirky concerns, and totally at a loss as to what I\u2019m asking and why.\u00a0 He responds by asking me for my policy number.\u00a0 For a moment, I wonder if they can cancel my insurance because I ask too many questions, because they think I must have something to worry about if I\u2019m so concerned about this provision.\u00a0 I know that there are insurance companies who won\u2019t issue life or health insurance to anyone who has so much as been tested for AIDS, even if the test is on record as being negative.\u00a0 Just wanting to know makes you a potential risk.\u00a0 Gobrantz assures me it\u2019s just that there is certain information they give to policyholders but not to the curious-at-large.\u00a0 I fetch the policy and give him the number.<\/p>\n
I explain that I\u2019m a journalist who writes about sex-related issues and imagine that I feel Agent Gobrantz get a little more respectful but also a little more cautious.\u00a0 Has his company been the subject of a significant number of suits relating to sexual conduct?\u00a0 He doesn\u2019t think so (though he doesn\u2019t have the statistics on that), but he does know that the word is out in the industry about suits relating to sexual molestation as well as sexually transmitted diseases.\u00a0 He honestly doesn\u2019t know the story of this particular rider.\u00a0 He notes that I live in California.\u00a0 He tells me he\u2019ll check with a person who might know the background and get back to me. \u00a0 So far, I haven\u2019t heard from him.<\/p>\n
There it is, boys and girls, sex in the Dangerous Nineties.\u00a0 If someone sues you because they get herpes from you in your house, you\u2019re on your own in personal injury court.\u00a0 If they sue you because they get food poisoning, staph, or hepatitis, you\u2019re protected.\u00a0 If someone wrenches their back while hanging upside down off the end of your bed in a state of rapture, your insurance company tells them to take a hike.\u00a0 But if you get pissed off and throw them through your plate glass window, your insurance company pays all damages.\u00a0 If a guest slips and falls taking a shower in your tub, your insurance takes care of them; if they slip and fall in the same shower while you\u2019re fucking, your insurance washes its hands of the matter, so to speak.<\/p>\n
I think there should be a law against treating sex different from everything else, like there\u2019s a law against treating black people or women or old people or people with AIDS different from everyone else.\u00a0 This is sex discrimination — discrimination against sex and people who associate with sex.\u00a0 Let\u2019s start collecting signatures for a constitutional amendment.\u00a0 We might lose the first few times around, but think of the consciousness raising we could do….<\/p>\n
* * * * *<\/p>\n
Annie Sprinkle Meets Pieman Mike<\/b><\/p>\n
Carol Queen has already written about Annie Sprinkle\u2019s Solo Mio<\/em> performance, Post Post Porn Modernist<\/em>, so I won\u2019t get repetitious with my own thoughts, but one of the fine moments of the evening came during the intermission, when members of the audience lined up and lined up and lined up for Polaroid pictures with Annie\u2019s tits on their heads.\u00a0 One of those on line was Pieman Mike (profiled in a recent Spectator<\/em> article), whose turn on is getting pied in the face by beautiful women.\u00a0 Spreading a tarp on the floor to protect the stage carpet, Pieman offered Annie two cream pies, which she happily smushed into his glowingly happy face.\u00a0 Annie, who is no squirmer when it comes to messes on stage, seemed a little taken aback when Pieman bent his pecan-covered face forward to kiss her exalted tit, but just for a moment.\u00a0 “Messy, isn\u2019t he,” she laughed to the audience as Pieman rolled up his pie-covered tarp and the audience applauded.<\/p>\n * * * * *<\/p>\n Ode to the Female Flower<\/b><\/p>\n Joani Blank\u2019s delightful new book, Femalia<\/em>, is hot off the press — a simple and compelling ode to the beauty of the female form, meaning (for once) vulva, not breasts.\u00a0 The book is nothing more (and nothing less) than 32 stunningly diverse color cunt portraits by photographers Michael Rosen, Tee Corinne, Jill Posener, and Michael Perry.<\/p>\n The cover blurb correctly claims that “therapists, sex educators, women\u2019s health clinicians — and all women — will find this volume a welcome addition to their libraries.”\u00a0 It neglects to mention that Femalia<\/em> will also be a delight, not to mention a distinct turn on, to all devoted admirers, male and female, of the intricate folds, curves, textures, wrinkles, smoothnesses, and general delicious succulence of the magic lips and caverns, large and small, light and dark.\u00a0 Pardon me, I do tend to get carried away on this particular subject, particularly when I am holding 32 inviting examples in my hand, so to speak.\u00a0 (Try thumbing quickly backwards through the pages of Femalia<\/em> like an old-time flip book; it\u2019s positively dizzying.)<\/p>\n The rich color reproductions are magnificent, as are the particular pudenda so proudly displayed.\u00a0 What a great leap forward for the embryonic form I have been tentatively calling cunt art.\u00a0 Femalia<\/em> is available for $14.50 at Good Vibrations; or $18 postpaid from Down There Press, 938 Howard Street, San Francisco, CA 94103.<\/p>\n * * * * *<\/p>\n Saudek Comes to San Francisco<\/b><\/p>\n I have long been a fan, admirer, and devotee of the provocative, mysterious, mystical, work of contemporary Czech photographer Jan Saudek.\u00a0 Saudek\u2019s intricate mix of the conscious and the subconscious, the real and the surreal, the beautiful and the grotesque, is nothing short of fascinating, and it has been a pleasure to follow his slowly growing appreciation in this country.<\/p>\n A first book of Saudek photographs, The World of Jan Saudek<\/em>, was published by Aperture Books in 1983, followed by the larger, lusher collection of his work, Saudek:\u00a0 Life, Love, Death and Other Such Trifles<\/em>, published by Art Unlimited in 1991.\u00a0 Postcards of Saudek images have been popping up in quality card stores everywhere, and the Robert Koch Gallery in San Francisco had a wonderful show of his work a year ago (including what must one of the few fisting photos ever shown in an upscale American art venue).\u00a0 Now the Bay Area is being treated to two simultaneous exhibits of Saudek\u2019s work — at Good Vibrations and at Vision Gallery.<\/p>\n The exhibit at Good Vibrations includes 16 Saudek prints, mostly recent work (1992-93).\u00a0 I was particularly moved by “The Kiss” (a young pretty girl, her back to the camera, watching an older couple kiss through an open window), “The Matchmaker” (an older woman standing behind a young girl, spreading wide the girl\u2019s fleshy cunt to entice a husband), “It Touches My Very Soul” (a woman\u2019s mouth close to the immense breast of another, milk dripping down her chin), and “The Musicians” (a diptych giving two views of a musical band, clothed and naked).\u00a0 The show at Vision Gallery is even more extensive, with some 40 prints on the walls, and at least as many more to be perused and pondered in the bins.<\/p>\n If the complex nature of eroticism and sensuality intrigues you, don\u2019t miss either of these two shows.\u00a0 Saudek has a way of reaching inside and stirring up erotic shadows and mysteries unlike any other imagist.\u00a0 The exhibit at Vision Gallery (1155 Mission Street) runs through December 4th; the show at Good Vibrations (1210 Valencia Street) through the end of the year.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n November 12, 1993<\/p>\n Copyright \u00a9 1993 David Steinberg<\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" <\/p>\n SEXUAL COND EXCL<\/p>\n Sexual curiosities crop up in the most mundane places, at least for those of us with sensitive noses for such things. 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