<\/p>\n
Bruce Herschensohn<\/strong><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n Ok, this may be my first and last chance, ever, to line up behind Bruce Herschensohn, and I\u2019m going to take it, for the sheer perversity of it as much as anything else. Don\u2019t get me wrong: As far as I\u2019m concerned the man is scum and I\u2019m as delighted as anyone that Barbara Boxer squeaked through and helped force the Senate leadership to have a women\u2019s bathroom installed near the Senate floor for the first time ever. (Would you believe that Nancy Kassebaum and Barbara Mikulski have been migrating one flight down to a public restroom all these years, while the 98 Big Boys use the toilets just outside the Congressional chamber reserved for Senatorial relief.)<\/p>\n But the red flags still go up for me whenever someone starts jumping up and down in mock horror, telling the teacher that somebody\u2019s been doing something bad (meaning something sexual other than fucking their spouses in the missionary position), oh isn\u2019t it awful, tee hee, tee hee. So the Dems put some kind of heavy tail on Herschensohn and caught him going to a strip joint once and purchasing porn more than once. I mean, the irony\u2019s delicious of course, and the contortions that this fierce defender of somebody\u2019s notion of Family Values went through trying to explain himself were positively hilarious. (Herschensohn claimed, for example, that he went to the club for a drink, not to see naked women, although it turned out the place didn\u2019t even serve drinks and was certainly not the kind of place you\u2019d go to for genteel ambience.)<\/p>\n The hypocrisy of the supposedly virtuous bachelor, caught with his hands in what he would call the sewer, is a campaign issue worth addressing. But Democratic Party hack Bob Mulholland was not screaming \u201chypocrite\u201d when his eyes were bugging out with self-righteous glee. He was screaming \u201cpervert,\u201d and whenever someone is at the butt end of a sexual slur, be it \u201cslut,\u201d \u201cwhore,\u201d \u201cpervert\u201d or \u201cqueer,\u201d for that moment at least they become my political sibling. Even Bruce Herschensohn.<\/p>\n Even, for that matter, Clarence Thomas. (I realize I\u2019m sticking my head in a noose here, and that it\u2019s possible that none of my friends will ever talk to me again.) Of course, I have no use whatsoever for Clarence Thomas, Boss-Pig Sexual Harasser. It\u2019s been a long time since I\u2019ve wanted to see someone skewered as badly as I wanted to see Thomas left to die on a stake during those hearings. But I still turned queasy when the issue shifted from his abuse of power to his fascination with porn videos, women\u2019s breasts, and Long Dong Silver. I actually take some comfort in knowing that there\u2019s at least one Supreme Court Justice who knows his way around porn, seeing as how they\u2019re all going to be passing judgment on it again and again over the next twenty years or so. I only wish that Thomas hadn\u2019t been made to feel so guilty about his porn pastime that he\u2019ll now have to bend over backwards just to assuage his embarrassment. (Now if we could just bend him over forwards, but that\u2019s another story\u2026.)<\/p>\n I have a friend who served for a while on the local City Council, a very fine, thoughtful, progressive, unnaturally politically correct, feminist man. He confided to me one day how strange it was to not be able to simply buy a\u00a0Playboy<\/em>\u00a0from time to time, because if anyone saw him it would be the end of his political career. (I dare say he would have had the odd privilege of being tarred and feathered from the left and right simultaneously.)<\/p>\n There it is: the politics of moralism, which as far as I\u2019m concerned is entirely antithetical to real political morality or ethics. We call upon our public figures \u2014 our heroes, our leaders \u2014 to be one-dimensional saints, and then we become horrified when they turn out to be regular old human beings under all the image-oriented trappings.<\/p>\n My dad used to say that everyone\u2019s the same when they\u2019re putting on their underwear in the morning, to which I would add: and when they\u2019re jacking off. Masturbation and lust, The Great Equalizers. Yes, Virginia, even priests and rabbis, even Fundamentalists, even family doctors and therapists and Sunday school teachers and day care workers and non-sexual massage practitioners, even mommies and daddies, masturbate and get turned on \u2014 sometimes at the damnedest moments. The issue is not what we feel, but what we do with our feelings, and it\u2019s when we\u2019re too embarrassed to acknowledge what\u2019s really going on with us that someone\u2019s most likely to get hurt.<\/p>\n That\u2019s why I always vote Sadeian. Honesty forever, piety never. Cleanliness is next to duplicity. The best things in life are messy. See you at the polls in \u201994.<\/p>\n * * * * *<\/p>\n Bill Clinton<\/strong><\/p>\n Which brings me most of the way to Bill Clinton, the first even moderately sexy man in the White House in a very long time. Jimmy Carter did confess that he lusted in his heart from time to time. As I remember, it had to do with looking at pictures of naked women. Playboy, wasn\u2019t it? And I do believe Ron and Nancy were sexual, in a Norman Rockwell sort of way. All I know about LBJ is that he had this thing about showing Ho Chi Minh whose cock was bigger, an ambition for which hundreds of thousands had to die.<\/p>\n But it\u2019s been a while since there\u2019s been any free-flowing sexual energy at the White House, which probably explains more about what\u2019s been happening in this country than most people are willing to even think about. As Barbara Ehrenreich says, \u201cTry to think of a recent president who has not been among the erotically impaired.\u201d I mean, can you even imagine George asking Barbara to spread her legs a little wider so he can get it in, or Dick wetting his fingers with spit because Pat was too dry?<\/p>\n It\u2019s not since Jack Kennedy that we\u2019ve had an energetically sexual human being running the country. Even if JFK actually neglected state business so he could take 20-minute breaks and get it on with some waiting, spread-legged blonde, even if he and Bobby both got it on with Marilyn at the same time (brothers, no less), even if the bastards really did kill her when she threatened to spill the beans, at least we could be comforted to know that there were a few molecules of genuine sexual sweat wandering around the Oval Office in those days. And I dare say, there will be some heartwarming sexual heat humidifying the White House bedrooms over the next four years. Bill just has that look, and the walk of a person who doesn\u2019t have a ramrod up his ass. Barbara Ehrenreich, no sighing groupie, notes (only half in jest) the potency of his \u201cflared nostril, the finely curled lip, the studly angle of head,\u201d admiring \u201cthe restraint of the women in the audience [at the second televised debate with sexless George], who neither shrieked nor rushed the stage.\u201d<\/p>\n Did you catch that brief moment on the evening news, the day Clinton came to Washington to meet with Bush, when he said goodbye to Hillary after getting off the plane? He looks her right in the eye, she smiles back at him warmly. Then he leans toward her, cups her cheek in his palm, and kisses her, quickly but not superficially. I was watching very carefully because I believe that if you watch these little moments carefully enough you can know a whole lot about a person. And what I saw was that this is a sexual man who has real affection, respect, and more than a little pelvic attraction for his wife.<\/p>\n Maybe it\u2019s just wishful thinking on my part, but the man comes with references. Gennifer Flowers, no pal of Wild Bill\u2019s these days, gives him a \u201c9 out of a possible 10 as a lover,\u201d calls him \u201csensitive and caring\u201d in bed, and says he \u201cate pussy like a champ.\u201d And I say if the president knows how to eat pussy like a champ, we\u2019re all likely to be better off.<\/p>\n * * * * *<\/p>\n Sexologists in San Diego<\/strong><\/p>\n I spent a weekend in San Diego at the annual meeting of the Society for the Scientific Study of Sex, the leading organization of sexologists in the country. There were some 600 people there, a very mixed group of professionals ranging from young to old, from radical to conservative, from playful to deadly serious, from scholarly to trivial. I must say that I have remarkable affection for this group of people, who are as much a community as a professional association, easily stigmatized and ridiculed, even those who spend much of their time wooing status and respectability from a skeptical and often hostile world. There may be almost as many homophobes, erotophobes, Republicans, ego maniacs, and neglectful parents among SSSS members as anywhere else, but one way or another, these are all sex-curious people (\u201cintellectual sluts\u201d in the words of Program Chair James Weinrich), and I leave SSSS meetings feeling deeply confirmed and nourished, even though I wish the general stance of the Society were more daring, more radical, more\u2026 well, sexy.<\/p>\n Worskshops I particularly enjoyed included Peter Sandor Gardos speaking about the \u201chistory and theory of the come shot in porn films\u201d (honest to God). Gardos finds that the men who get most turned on by watching come shots are the ones who have positive attitudes toward women. So much for the theory that coming on a woman is an act of misogynist domination. Paul Okami\u2019s well-researched paper on sex and children noted how most researchers almost deliberately confuse pedophiles with child molesters, and how the current media-hype concern on sexual abuse means that kids in day care centers are now almost never hugged, kissed, or held, and even held less in their families because parents are afraid of \u201cbad touch\u201d accusations.<\/p>\n Beverly Whipple ran down the current information on g-spots, g-spot orgasms, and female ejaculation. Briefly, ejaculate is simply not urine, all 400 women her researchers examined had g-spots, though for many the area was identifiable only when the woman was aroused. If you or your partner want to peruse g-spot orgasms, practice exercising your PC muscle (the one you would use to stop peeing in the middle), working up to three-second contractions, 150 times a day.<\/p>\n One of the most delightful experiences of the conference for me was hanging out with Andrew Martinez, the young man who\u2019s been pushing people\u2019s buttons by running around Berkeley naked. Andrew is a supremely sweet, modest, and sincere guy who just wants people to look at their fears of the naked body. Just as wearing a suit is an exercise in enforcing class barriers, Andrew comments, wearing clothes all the time is an exercise in enforcing Christian morality. SSSS, by the way, asked Andrew to wear clothes in public for the conference (\u201cnot that we have a problem with nudity,\u201d one board member explained, \u201cbut we\u2019re concerned because members of the press will be present\u201d). Not surprisingly, Andrew was glad to pose nude for me on the patio outside my room, while three different women tagged along, to give him \u201cmoral support.\u201d Maybe we should print up Andrew Martinez posters and sell them to raise money for his legal defense fund\u2026.<\/p>\n * * * * *<\/p>\n Future Sex<\/em>\u00a02<\/strong><\/p>\n The second issue of\u00a0Future Sex<\/em>\u00a0is hot off the press and I have to say that the magazine is definitely coming along. It\u2019s still a mixed bag, but the photography is getting more interesting (especially images by Egon, Spencer Tunick, Tracy Mostovoy, and Steven Knoll), and some of the writing is delightful. Editor Lisa Palac\u2019s primer on anal sex is a good introduction to the subject. Richard Pacheco\u2019s honest tale of performance anxiety on a porn set is funny, human, and hopefully reassuring to all the guys who wonder why their cocks aren\u2019t as spring-loaded as cocks appear to be in sex flicks. The reviews of books, films, recordings, and software are intelligent and informative (I\u2019m biased: Laura Miller was quite generous with my new book The Erotic Impulse). Doing a feature article extolling the products of an advertiser is questionable, and they need a good proofreader, but this is all part of getting the bugs out of the system.<\/p>\n Much of this issue really is about futuristic sex (up-coming erotic computer software, high-tech virtual reality machines, new age aphrodisiacs), which leaves me scratching my head and feeling decidedly of another generation. When software developer Mike Saenz says that \u201cpeople want to remove excessive human contact\u201d from their lives and that virtual reality sex is great because it \u201cwill free up some people and give them sexual adventure without the trappings of actually having a relationship,\u201d I begin to feel like I\u2019ve stepped into a Brave New World that reflects my greatest fears rather than my greatest wishes.<\/p>\n Editors Palac, Miller, et al, certainly have a way to go in shaping and defining what they want to do with their magazine, but that\u2019s the way it is when you set about carving out new territory, especially new erotic territory. Their freshness is as infectious as it is unformed, so I for one want to encourage them to keep exploring and see where they end up. I just hope their vision of the future includes human beings, skin, touch \u2013you know, flesh and blood.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n December 11, 1992<\/p>\n Copyright \u00a9 1992 David Steinberg<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Bruce Herschensohn<\/p>\n Ok, this may be my first and last chance, ever, to line up behind Bruce Herschensohn, and I\u2019m going to take it, for the sheer perversity of it as much as anything else. Don\u2019t get me wrong: As far as I\u2019m concerned the man is scum and I\u2019m as delighted as anyone […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-431","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-comes-naturally","odd"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nearbycafe.com\/loveandlust\/davidsteinberg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/431","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nearbycafe.com\/loveandlust\/davidsteinberg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nearbycafe.com\/loveandlust\/davidsteinberg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nearbycafe.com\/loveandlust\/davidsteinberg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nearbycafe.com\/loveandlust\/davidsteinberg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=431"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.nearbycafe.com\/loveandlust\/davidsteinberg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/431\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nearbycafe.com\/loveandlust\/davidsteinberg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=431"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nearbycafe.com\/loveandlust\/davidsteinberg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=431"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nearbycafe.com\/loveandlust\/davidsteinberg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=431"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}